It''s been a long time... So many things have happened, and I find it hard to know exactly what to write. My last catscan showed that my tumor is growing, so my oncologist stopped the chemo I was on. I had 3 choices: I could either stop treatment all together, try the first chemo I was on-which gave me neuropathy, or try one of the trial things, where I would have to travel once a month to Vermont-3 hours away-and let them experiment with some new drugs that are not yet approved to be used.

After three weeks without treatment, I chose to try the chemo that gave me the neuropathy. I have been told that they will stop it if the neuropathy gets worse, so I guess I am on my last option. If the next catscan shows that the tumor is still growing, then I guess the treatments will be over.

That has sent me on a flurry of trying to get rid of some things that I no longer need. I have been trying to get things ready for a huge yard sale, which is not easy with these hands. I hate the thought that my "kids" will have such a mess to go through later on. I have to have it all ready for this weekend, while a lot of tourists are here. Thank God, I have my friend to help me.

Just wanted to update so you would know what is going on. I am still reading everyone when I can, sorry if I do not comment on a regular basis. I am afraid to overwork my hands right now.

Much love to all of you in xangaland.

A VERY BAD WEEK

Sorry I have not commented lately.

#1 On the 1st my sister-in-law was rushed to the hospital very ill-cancer patient. She had her last chemo with me, then was told they could do no more for her.  

#2 On the 3rd I lost a brother-in-law. He had a heart attack while driving a tour bus.

#3 On the 5th I overused my left hand and have been on pain meds since then. I am now only able to type with one finger.

#4 On the 6th I had another catscan and my sister-in-law died. I have cried a lot of tears this week over my loved ones.

#5 On the 7th I had appointment with oncologist. Catscan showed no change in size of my tumor. I can be happy that at least it has not grown.

#6 On the 9th-today-I had chemo again-very nauseated tonight.  Tomorrow I have to go back to get a shot to bring up white blood count.

I will try to get around to visit everyone when I can, but I do need a little time for my hand to heal-this post has taken forever to do with one finger. My heart needs healing too!!!

Love to all!!! I hope I will one day have something happy to write about!!!

Early Morning Visitors

This was taken in the early morning hours-still dark outside. That is why the picture is not very clear. They are only about 15 feet from my kitchen window. What a wonderful way to start the morning. This is the second time that they have stopped by for a visit!!!

Love to my xanga friends out there in xangaland!!!

Another birthday celebrated

You can probably tell from this picture that I spent the day inside. One good thing about my birthday this year is the fact that I am one year younger, instead of older. I guess that is what happens as we age-at least with me. I have thought all year that I was one year older than what I was, so it was a nice surprise to find out that I am now one year younger.

I had a great one anyway. Albert cooked some lasagna for me and bought a delicious German Chocolate cake for dessert. I talked with my daughter and grandson on the phone. I received two paintings of my daughter's that I absolutely love. I also heard from my son and my great niece.

I hope everyone out in xangaland is doing fine.

Thank God for support groups

We go to one the first Tuesday of every month, and it is unreal at the amount of love and compassion shown to everyone who is struggling through their bout's with cancer.

I feel that I am in a whole new phase of my life right now, so different to what I had expected my life to be at this point. I have to accept this phase of my life, as I did all the other phases. I just keep smiling and being grateful for each new day that God allows me. One day at a time, is my motto now.

I do not cry for myself, but sometimes I do for others. I have met a lot of people that I hug, whenever I meet up with them. A hug means so much to someone who is fighting for their life. It is hard to imagine the kindness shown, or the smiles that are returned, or the many hugs offered.

Sometimes I think what if... that is when I realize that I may never have met these wonderful people if...or it is then that I realize that I know now what courage really means. 

Hope my xanga friends are all well!